i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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