Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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