I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
