i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
