one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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