Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
