this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
