Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
