I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
