What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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