Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
