i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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