i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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