I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
