Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
