I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
