I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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