I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
