I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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