Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
