It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
