There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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