Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
