I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
