Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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