It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
