So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
