So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
