worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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