She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
