4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
