I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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