so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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