Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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