Will you blow on my dice?
too bad you live with your parents still
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
