whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
