allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize