hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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