I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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