3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
