Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
