he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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