I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
