my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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