I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
