What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
