So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
