I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize