We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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