I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
