You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
