Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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