dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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