Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
