Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
