Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
