Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
