your parents love me but you hate me
i think my tv is drunk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
