yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
