You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
