I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
