Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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