That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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